This is the sound of my teeth grinding
Is there anything more frustrating than looking forward to a vacation for months (nay, almost a year), planning for it, buying for it, dreaming about it, only to fall ill the day before it begins? To realize that I will, in all probablity, be sitting on a beach with a head cold and wads of Kleenex distributed about my person?
I don't know what happened. I felt fine yesterday. But today my nose is dripping, I've been sneezing, my eyes keep running, and I have little fevers that come and go. And to top it off - my stomach will just not settle. I've been feeling nauseous all day. Just thought I would share that with you.
However, so as not to leave you with the impression that this blog entry will add nothing of useful value to your life, I leave you with some little life lessons learned the hard way, courtesy of me:
1. Do not attempt to drive after recently applying Bath and Body Works creamy lotion to your hands.
2. Do not attempt to hug your cat after applying fresh lip gloss.
3. If your water bottle is smaller than your cup holder - there is a 99% chance it will, indeed, fall over on you as you make a turn.
4. Your dollar bill, no matter how crisp or wrinkled, will always be rejected by the snack machine. Just get the change already and save yourself from this frustration as you see the sugar and carbs you so desperately crave immediately out of reach.
5. If you are able to snag a lovely little table at Panera so you can indulge yourself in your latest book understand that Mr. Loud Cell Phone Talker will park himself right next to you. Scan the area for others who are bibliographically minded.
6. If your passport expires within six months and you are planning to do a little international traveling during that time - get a new passport. Trust me on this one.
7. If you dinner date mentions another girl say, oh, a minimum of three times during the course of the meal, it is quite possible he is not that into you.
8. Head colds + weepy movies = pathetic-sounding voicemail messages
9. The beauty of the shoe is inversely proportional to how comfortable it will be.
10. Fluroescent lighting does not a confident woman make.
11. If you dye your hair, make sure the cats do not walk through the dye as you are applying it.
12. Shower acoustics rock.
13. There are certain stores that you have to understand you will need to double your estimated shopping time. For example, you think, "I will just run into Wal-Mart for that milk; it should take me about 15 minutes, tops." You may need to triple or possibly quadruple that time estimate. Other stores to take into consideration: Home Depot, Target, and Old Navy.
14. If you like a certain top, be aware that it is probably ridiculously low cut. All the styles are now. How will I remember 2006? That I spent most of the year with a safety pin in my shirt.
Wishing you all a Happy Independence Day!
I don't know what happened. I felt fine yesterday. But today my nose is dripping, I've been sneezing, my eyes keep running, and I have little fevers that come and go. And to top it off - my stomach will just not settle. I've been feeling nauseous all day. Just thought I would share that with you.
However, so as not to leave you with the impression that this blog entry will add nothing of useful value to your life, I leave you with some little life lessons learned the hard way, courtesy of me:
1. Do not attempt to drive after recently applying Bath and Body Works creamy lotion to your hands.
2. Do not attempt to hug your cat after applying fresh lip gloss.
3. If your water bottle is smaller than your cup holder - there is a 99% chance it will, indeed, fall over on you as you make a turn.
4. Your dollar bill, no matter how crisp or wrinkled, will always be rejected by the snack machine. Just get the change already and save yourself from this frustration as you see the sugar and carbs you so desperately crave immediately out of reach.
5. If you are able to snag a lovely little table at Panera so you can indulge yourself in your latest book understand that Mr. Loud Cell Phone Talker will park himself right next to you. Scan the area for others who are bibliographically minded.
6. If your passport expires within six months and you are planning to do a little international traveling during that time - get a new passport. Trust me on this one.
7. If you dinner date mentions another girl say, oh, a minimum of three times during the course of the meal, it is quite possible he is not that into you.
8. Head colds + weepy movies = pathetic-sounding voicemail messages
9. The beauty of the shoe is inversely proportional to how comfortable it will be.
10. Fluroescent lighting does not a confident woman make.
11. If you dye your hair, make sure the cats do not walk through the dye as you are applying it.
12. Shower acoustics rock.
13. There are certain stores that you have to understand you will need to double your estimated shopping time. For example, you think, "I will just run into Wal-Mart for that milk; it should take me about 15 minutes, tops." You may need to triple or possibly quadruple that time estimate. Other stores to take into consideration: Home Depot, Target, and Old Navy.
14. If you like a certain top, be aware that it is probably ridiculously low cut. All the styles are now. How will I remember 2006? That I spent most of the year with a safety pin in my shirt.
Wishing you all a Happy Independence Day!
posted by Lisa | 1:43 PM
6 Comments:
Amazing! You need to write a book with little excerpts of advice like those.:)
Sorry about your cold. That really is the worst. To look forward to it, use it as motivation & then have it yanked away by Murphy's Law.
Oh, no! That is the worst! Let's hope that the germs are all so disgusted by the sunlight and relaxation of your vacation that they depart your body immediately. :)
Thanks for all the tips. Some I have learned myself from sad experience, but most I filed away for later use. I'm glad to sup from your store of accrued wisdom!
Here's a poem for you that I just found in some old stuff from college....actually from a XEA/Regina Valentine banquet poem collection. It's horrible.
Love is like a Sloppy Joe....
Messy--but worth it in the end.
by Lisa Stiles
Matt-
Gosh, I was a wide-eyed dreamer, wasn't I?
Tree and Jules- I'm happy to report that the sickness has passed! Bring on the beach!
I think you'll feel vindicated after reading the 10 Commandments of Cell Phone Etiquette.
Enjoy. :)
Brad - I loved the list - so right on!
Jewels - Thanks! It was great to see you again!
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