Llama Spit Washes Out, Doesn't It?
I’ve been invited to a fancy-pants wedding this weekend on the sniff-sniff side of town, which has been the catalyst for the great dress hunt of 2007. I’ve tried on quite a few in the past weeks, but at the moment I’ve got nada, zero, zilch, nothing.
The great majority of dresses I’ve found fall into a simple pattern formula – thin straps holding up a fitted bodice with a full skirt that reaches down to about my calves. It always looks great on the hanger, but when I try it on I either discover that I appear to have gained a significant amount of weight around my middle or the top gives me a, umm, rather enhanced appearance in an area that didn’t need any enhancing, if you get my drift. The length inconveniently chops me off at the fattest part of my leg, so that doesn’t help matters.
That seems to leave the alternative of the halter dress, in which the top is actually constructed of two triangles. This doesn’t work for me either, for a variety of reasons. That dress would then necessitate the purchase of one of those bras that are supremely versatile, can convert in a 100 different ways and, apparently, are also capable of running the country if given half the chance. They also cost about as much as the dress.
I do have a fallback, however - my old, trusty going-to-weddings dress. It’s been around for a while and hasn’t let me down yet. It’s seen me through vigorous bouts of Celtic country dancing at a wedding in the Lowlands of Scotland and an energetic electric slide in New Bern, North Carolina. It’s also wash and wear, which may be handy as the wedding this weekend will have its reception at a llama farm and llamas spit, don’t they? I just want to be prepared for that unfortunate event, and I don't know if a new dress will be able to handle it. Because if anyone is going to be target of a llama incident, it will probably be me.
But this dress is just that – seen, serviceable, and getting a bit long in the tooth. So I continue my mission. Three days left….
The great majority of dresses I’ve found fall into a simple pattern formula – thin straps holding up a fitted bodice with a full skirt that reaches down to about my calves. It always looks great on the hanger, but when I try it on I either discover that I appear to have gained a significant amount of weight around my middle or the top gives me a, umm, rather enhanced appearance in an area that didn’t need any enhancing, if you get my drift. The length inconveniently chops me off at the fattest part of my leg, so that doesn’t help matters.
That seems to leave the alternative of the halter dress, in which the top is actually constructed of two triangles. This doesn’t work for me either, for a variety of reasons. That dress would then necessitate the purchase of one of those bras that are supremely versatile, can convert in a 100 different ways and, apparently, are also capable of running the country if given half the chance. They also cost about as much as the dress.
I do have a fallback, however - my old, trusty going-to-weddings dress. It’s been around for a while and hasn’t let me down yet. It’s seen me through vigorous bouts of Celtic country dancing at a wedding in the Lowlands of Scotland and an energetic electric slide in New Bern, North Carolina. It’s also wash and wear, which may be handy as the wedding this weekend will have its reception at a llama farm and llamas spit, don’t they? I just want to be prepared for that unfortunate event, and I don't know if a new dress will be able to handle it. Because if anyone is going to be target of a llama incident, it will probably be me.
But this dress is just that – seen, serviceable, and getting a bit long in the tooth. So I continue my mission. Three days left….
posted by Lisa | 9:47 AM
3 Comments:
Did you ever find a dress?
I've never been to a reception, or indeed any kind of social event, at a llama farm. You do lead the most interesting life!
Stephanie - I did indeed find a great dress. And the llamas were very well behaved.
Katrina-
I don't know about interesting, but it's not very predictable! ;-)
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