Confessions of an Insomniac

For some reason, I have not been able to sleep for the past three nights. No matter how tired, the minute my head hits the pillow my thoughts begin ping-ponging around until they resemble nothing quite coherent. So for today's post I leave you with the late-night thoughts of my poor, exhausted mind:

Does anyone else think it is tacky that the inflatable children’s slide at that kiddy fair was made to look like the prow of a ship sinking? That it actually had “Titanic” printed on it? A hundred years from now will people make rides out of today’s tragedies?

It’s amazing how customized the menswear department is. They can get a pair of pants and a shirt to their exact measurements – waist, length, arm, neck and chest sizes… Why can’t women’s clothes be like that? Why can’t I buy a dress based on my exact measurements? Oh yeah, now I remember, I can. It’s called “couture,” and I can’t afford it.

I think it’s funny that Patrick has not untied his tie for the past two years. He just keeps loosening it.

I really like my Norah Jones CD.

I can’t believe Christy is pregnant. I’ll bet when I’m pregnant I will be fat all over, not like those cute women who carry a small basketball in front of them but look fashionably slim from the back.

I need to caulk the kitchen.

Have I taken on too much at church? Foreign missions committee, domestic missions committee, inner city learning center, visitation team, and now the financial peace seminar. In the spring I’m supposed to teach second graders on Wednesday nights.

Should I make nametags for the inner city class? Maybe flowers with glitter…

Does the church have a flower punch? I’m not going to sit there and cut out petals all night.

Stupid cat. I wish he’d just leave the cabinet doors alone.

Did I unplug the iron?

Should I drive or fly home for Christmas? I much prefer to fly. It’s going to be really weird if I can’t take my contact lens solution with me. Or lip balm. What if my contacts need to come out? Will I have to wear my glasses? That prescription is so old I won’t be able to see much. Maybe that’s a good thing on the plane.

I wonder how many Weight Watcher’s points are the Jim Nachos at Cancun’s?

Are my corduroy slacks clean? I think I’ll wear them tomorrow.

What’s that noise? What would I use as a weapon if an intruder came in here? My clock radio? I’ll bet I could put the lamp to good use.

Arghh! Stupid cat.