Target Tales

Scene: In an aisle at Target. Nashville, Tennessee. Approx. 1:41 p.m.

Lady: Excuse me, where are the nightgowns?

Me: Umm, I'm not sure. Maybe with the other pajamas?

Lady: You don't know?

Me: Sorry, no.

Lady (finally noticing my purse and shopping cart): Oh! I'm sorry, you don't work here, do you?

Me: No, I don't.

Lady: It's just that you are wearing a red top and khaki pants.

Me (looking down): Why, you're right, I am.

Lady: That's what their employees wear.

Me: Yes, they do.

Lady: That's why I asked you for help.

Me: Sorry about that.

Lady: It's okay. But you are very confusing.*

Me: ...

*I think she meant my outfit was confusing her, but it's possible that I'm just flat out confusing.

7 Random Things

So Nikki tagged me for seven random things about myself. The problem with this is that I’m never quite sure what I’ve already revealed on this blog in the past, so with apologies for any redundancies, here we go:

1. I can’t sleep with any light in the room. I will flip the blinds to the “up” position to counteract this. I’ve been known to put blankets under hotel door cracks to block the hall lights, shove glowing clock faces against the wall, and once persuaded a friend to put band-aids over a particularly bright smoke detector.
   
   
2. As a child, I hated long nightgowns. They would get all tangled around my legs at night and I would feel trapped. Still avoid them.
   
   
3. I want to do the Wild Cave Tour at Mammoth some day.
   
   
4. My last two weekends have been pretty terrific.
   
   
5. I’m going to Australia for a two-week mission trip in September and can hardly wait.
   
   
6. I have a hard time hanging things on my wall. This is probably due to moving more than 30 times throughout my life. I just have a feeling if I put something up there I am going to move soon. I’m a UCD – Under Confident Decorator.
   
   
7. Not random, but … I serve a totally awesome God.

Flotsam and Jetsam

1. Has anyone else noticed that all the spring tops out right now look like maternity wear? While I suppose it is better than the shrink-wrapped t-shirts of last season, I am not pregnant and do not care to look like I am.

2. About to head into the 3rd draft of The Manuscript. Yep, it's still with me. I took an almost month long hiatus from it to gain perspective after the 2nd draft. In the meantime, I wrote a creepy short story (just to see if I could) that disturbed my Mother and opened a whole can of worms ... "You don't have friends like this, do you? Are you okay? Do you have dreams like this? I'm worried about you." 

3. Car noise getting louder. Trying to hold out until parents arrive so they can take car to shop and drive me to work. Won't they have a fun vacation! 

4. Lean Cusine's Chicken Pesto pita sandwich does not taste nearly as good as it looks on the little box.

5. There are cigarette butts constantly appearing outside my patio gate. I don't know where they come from. My neighbor doesn't either. Perhaps Hamish is sneaking a few puffs after we've gone to bed for the night? Who knows?

6. The carpet still smells bad, and Febreeze can't fix everything.

7. Every year, I tell myself to resist trying on Target swimwear, and every year they reel me in with an ensemble that I think may work ... only to subject me to a horrifying, soul-deadening dressing room experience.

8. Spring sprang rather spontaneously around here.

9. I'm on a break from my tap class until the next semester. They are doing a routine to "Jolly Holiday" from Mary Poppins and I just can't face Van Dyke's dreadful cockney accent every Monday night.

10. Hollywood Video has thwarted me again. First, they don't carry season 4 of Angel. Then, they don't carry season 3 of the X-Files. I'm going to have to give in to Netflix to continue any kind of story arc.