The Far Side of the Ocean

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the ocean, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." - Psalm 139:9-10

My Photo
Name:
Location: Nashville, Tennessee

It started as a Nanowrimo challenge and evolved from there. My current work in process is a cozy mystery.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A Wealth of Words

This is a long one, so you may want to wait until you are comfortably curled up with a cup of tea in one hand and your own version of a Willie Ford wrapped around you.

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend Killer Nashville, a mystery writer’s conference in my own backyard.

On Sunday afternoon I was scheduled to pitch to an editor of a publishing house. I had hemmed and hawed about this because my book is still not ready, and I just didn’t feel prepared. But after some gentle prodding by several people at the conference to get it over with for the experience of it, I decided to go for it. I had actually wanted to pitch to the agent that was there but drew the editor instead. That was not great because I already knew their house did not publish the kind of mystery I write (which I have always referred to as a “cozy,” but was informed it is now called a “traditional mystery”).

The problem, however, was that I had submitted the opening of my book to be critiqued at one session by authors Kris and Kelly, sisters who write under the P.J. Parrish pen name (who are New York Times best-selling authors). The end of this session coincided with my pitch time with the editor. So literally right before they got to my submission I had to leave. It was a very frustrating moment.

After the pitch, which was nerve-wracking but pretty much turned out as I expected, I went in search of Kris and Kelly, who happened to be sitting at a table in the lobby. They were very kind and one of them (and I couldn’t tell you which one), sat there and went over my opening with me and spent a considerable amount of time talking about the structure of my book and giving me some extremely valuable advice. She liked my opening, so that was a nice boost. That little talk alone was worth the $114 I paid to attend the conference.

They also did a session about showing vs. telling, which as a writer you know you aren’t supposed to do, but it creeps in anyway. Their talk was full of great examples – both right and wrong.

The guest of honor was Michael Connelly, whose book, Echo Park, happens to be on every bookshelf I see. I enjoyed his talk about the writing life and what happened before things really started taking off. It was also interesting to hear about mistakes he felt he has made, such as when he once wrote 300 pages in the wrong direction with a book he wrote before realizing he had to turn it around. It gave me hope.

And if you are still reading this far and ever hope to submit a manuscript some day, here is a list I compiled from a fabulous session with literary agent Donna Bagdasarian, editor Maryglenn McCombs, and author and reviewer Hallie Ephron. Although this was primarily a mystery writer’s conference, a lot of this information is helpful across genres.

Top Reasons Your Manuscript Will Be Rejected:
1. Profligate use of adverbs.
2. Not knowing grammar, syntax, context, style, etc. Just because you can read doesn’t mean you know how to write.
3. Not following the guidelines given by the editors/agents on their websites regarding submissions.
4. Predictability in the story is death.
5. Bad dialogue.
6. Overpopulation of characters – too many for the reader to keep track of.
7. Too many subplots.
8. The plot does not have a backbone.
9. Don’t know who the story belongs to – this character? Or is it that character? (Most often happens with multiple points of view.)
10. The protagonist does not affect the ending.
11. Lack of touch with reality in publishing. (Specifically they said, “Please don’t say this will be good for Oprah or you know it will be a bestseller.”)
12. Too many killers – not everyone is capable of murder. Make it credible.
13. Supplanting quality for gimmicks. Ex. Second-person novels, yuck factor…
14. Sex/violence scenes that are lurid and gratuitous.
15. A point of view that is out of control. Stay with your characters’ point of view until the scene ends – don’t switch and don’t make your character know or see things that he or she couldn’t possibly know.
16. Inconsistent tense.
17. A zig-zag timeline that makes no sense. Handling flashbacks is tricky.
18. Purple prose – excessive author voice full of tons of adjectives. Metaphor upon metaphor where it no longer sounds like the character is talking – the author breaks the third wall.
19. Too much back story upfront. Weave it in deftly.


They did note that for every point on the list you could find a book in the store that breaks that rule, but for a first time author trying to get noticed you aren’t the exception to the rule. Yet.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Ode to an Air Conditioner*

I’ll admit that life has been off kilter,
Which explains why I didn’t change your filter.

But just because I didn’t play my part,
Did you have to raise “the cold shoulder” to an art?

I was upset and sad to find you in one frozen block.
Your innards were white, I discovered with shock.

No cool air, no cold air, no kind of air at all,
So I gave my trusty AC guy a call.

But for now the cats sit in their furry summer coats,
And I silently wish I had some kind of boat,
To take me away from my now stuffy home.
Hey – do you think it’s this hot in Rome?


*With many apologies to poets everywhere.

Friday, August 10, 2007

I've Got Nothing Against Robert the Bruce, But...

If things are a little quiet over here it’s because I’m trying to get ready for a local mystery writer’s conference next weekend. So I’ve been working hard to get my first three chapters up to snuff. You know, to the point where I’m not filled with self-loathing and despair when I look at them.

This has required a lot of writing during lunch and writing while at home and numerous trips to a library that honestly does not hold one book about law enforcement in Scotland but has several about Robert the Bruce. I realize I am probably the only person in Nashville at this moment who is intensely interested in Scottish criminal procedure but come on, not even one book?

Someone asked me the other day, “Are you not finished with your novel yet?”

That flummoxed me. I’m finished with the first draft. But that is the first draft, the draft that is not even worthy to line a bird cage. Now I have to go back and pay attention to voice, characterization, description, tone, style, continuity, pacing, consistency, and so on. Let’s face it – this is going to take a while.

And underneath all of this – of waking up in the middle of the night realizing I broke the wrong arm on my male protagonist because then he won’t be able to drive the car because he can’t shift gears with his arm in a cast and of course the steering wheel is on the other side of the car in Scotland and there are hardly any automatics over there, and realizing that the name I created for my fictional town turns out to actually be a real place in Ireland so that won’t work – is the fundamental fact that I am doing this for fun.

And, frankly, I’m having a blast.

Friday, August 03, 2007

What I’m Happy About Right Now

1. It’s Friday! I'm wearing jeans!
2. I get to see The Bourne Ultimatum tonight.
3. While standing in line at Walgreens, I picked up that new weight-loss program/drug, alli. On the back of the box it said you might to consider starting the program if your height matched their suggested weight (what they considered overweight). I was very pleased to see that I was considered too small to be on the program. (Hey, it's those little things that keep you going....)
4. I’m almost done reading The Deathly Hallows again. It’s been a bit more of a pleasure this time because I’m not racing through it at 1 a.m. I love noticing all the details that I missed before. And actually understanding how that whole wand thing works.
5. I’m attending a mystery writer’s conference August 17-19 – Killer Nashville. I’m excited because the TBI will be there and have a mock crime scene set up where they take you through the forensics. I have so many questions for these people about my own novel; I’m hoping they can clear up some of the DNA stuff for me. Now, if I can just find someone who knows about the police force in Scotland I will be set. The Nashville Public Library has pitifully few books about this subject.
6. Kellie’s father is cancer free! (This may not mean much to most of you, but it is something to rejoice about in my neck of the woods.)
7. Fall is right around the corner. I love Fall.
8. I’m very pleased with my new dining table from IKEA.
9. I think I’m close to making peace with my upcoming birthday on the 30th. I’ve been dreading it for a while now, but I’ve decided it’s going to happen anyway so I’d best learn to live with it.
10. I have an awesome family and serve an incredible God.
11. Did I mention it was Friday?