Pick-Up Line of the Day
The Scene:
Panera Bread, lunchtime. Shell is setting up her laptop so she can hopefully squeeze out another 1,000 words for NaNo. An Annoying Man who is NOT AT ALL ATTRACTIVE is sitting one table away with a PS3 prominently displayed on his table. He is trying to sell it to people who ask about it.
AM: Hey, is that an Apple? (nodding towards Shell's laptop)
Shell: Yes, it is.
AM: So is that a green apple, a red apple, or a blue apple? Heh, heh.
Shell: Just a regular Apple.
AM: Hey! I got you to smile!
(Shell gives a very fake, half-hearted smile.)
AM: Well, that didn't look very sincere.
(Shell ignores him.)
AM: So, how was your Thanksgiving?
Shell: Listen, I'm really just here to get some work done.
AM: Well fine. Be that way, then. (Annoying Man huffily crosses arms and proceeds to shoot her dirty looks for the next hour. Consequently, Shell's NaNo ends up looking like the following:
I don't want to talk with you about my Thanksgiving vacation, dude. I don't know you, except you're hustling PS3s in Panera while you play solitaire on your laptop. I can't even enjoy myself over here, I want to leave so badly. Grrrr. Just leave me in peace. Now I can't even concentrate on my novel, MY NOVEL, because you are staring at me. And I can't move because this is the only outlet connection left. Just, just, peddle your wares elsewhere, okay? Thwarted! You have thwarted my attempts to write on my hard-earned lunch break. …
Now, I realize the above stream-of-consciousness has nothing to do with whether James is going to go ahead and get married to Angela or if Leah can figure out how John's ring ended up in the hole Kevin fell into, but it can still count towards my word total, right?
Panera Bread, lunchtime. Shell is setting up her laptop so she can hopefully squeeze out another 1,000 words for NaNo. An Annoying Man who is NOT AT ALL ATTRACTIVE is sitting one table away with a PS3 prominently displayed on his table. He is trying to sell it to people who ask about it.
AM: Hey, is that an Apple? (nodding towards Shell's laptop)
Shell: Yes, it is.
AM: So is that a green apple, a red apple, or a blue apple? Heh, heh.
Shell: Just a regular Apple.
AM: Hey! I got you to smile!
(Shell gives a very fake, half-hearted smile.)
AM: Well, that didn't look very sincere.
(Shell ignores him.)
AM: So, how was your Thanksgiving?
Shell: Listen, I'm really just here to get some work done.
AM: Well fine. Be that way, then. (Annoying Man huffily crosses arms and proceeds to shoot her dirty looks for the next hour. Consequently, Shell's NaNo ends up looking like the following:
I don't want to talk with you about my Thanksgiving vacation, dude. I don't know you, except you're hustling PS3s in Panera while you play solitaire on your laptop. I can't even enjoy myself over here, I want to leave so badly. Grrrr. Just leave me in peace. Now I can't even concentrate on my novel, MY NOVEL, because you are staring at me. And I can't move because this is the only outlet connection left. Just, just, peddle your wares elsewhere, okay? Thwarted! You have thwarted my attempts to write on my hard-earned lunch break. …
Now, I realize the above stream-of-consciousness has nothing to do with whether James is going to go ahead and get married to Angela or if Leah can figure out how John's ring ended up in the hole Kevin fell into, but it can still count towards my word total, right?
posted by Lisa | 10:43 AM
3 Comments:
Oh, yes--it definitely counts! Put it all in there! Lose yourself in long-winded descriptions of the main characters' bedrooms, including each and every dusty knick knack. Make stream of consciousness lists of the inner thoughts of every character as they go about the most mundane routines of their days. You CAN and you WILL make 50,000 words! I believe in you!!!
(Don't let Charlie down--he's very emotionally invested in this novel...)
Weird stuff happens to you at Panera.
Brad-
I think it's like the Bermuda Triangle of Brentwood....
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